Tell me if this sounds familiar to you: I probably have no fewer than 12 personal systems and devices—all designed to “support” and streamline my work and life. I’m surrounded by devices, yet when I have needed support from a person, I have sometimes found myself alone.

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” You’ve no doubt heard this popular quote by Woody Allen. But I would add that how you show up matters. Your interactions with others, and even with yourself, can shift from ineffectively blah to purposefully engaged when you’re thoughtful about how you show up. It’s palpable to everyone in the room.

I recently had a meeting with a colleague during which I was vigorously sharing my detailed analysis of 2019 and a clear plan for 2020. My colleague paused, starring at one number and said, “Wait. Did you say all of this is income going away?” I flippantly said, “Yes, but look at what I have planned!” Suddenly I saw that even though I had looked at the numbers, I hadn’t truly seen the one with the negative impact.

The environment we build for ourselves—both externally and internally—influences how we show up and engage in our lives. Look around you. As you take in your surroundings, how do you feel? That feeling will follow you into whatever you’re doing next.

In school, we’re always told never to copy a fellow student’s work. That’s cheating! It’s a forbidden, punishable, no-no. But as you move through life, you may find that there are times when imitation can be a valuable technique, especially when you’re in the process of learning a new skill. However, you’ll soon find that to reach the next level of success, you must move from emulation to developing your own expertise. 

Remember the three-legged race popular at family reunions and field days? Racers pair up and stand side-by-side with their arms around each other. Then the two touching legs are bound together and the hobbled racers do their best to dash straight ahead to the finish line! It doesn’t take much for them to tumble over into a giggling heap.

How can we help ourselves when we love most of the activities and people in our lives but it’s all just too much? Lately I’ve been feeling tired, tense, overwhelmed and even though I also feel grateful for all of it, I needed a shift to a sustainable pace.

“Doing it your way” sounds like a dandy idea but actually having the guts to do it is a different story. Join me as I slow down that moment in time when I decide, “Yes! I’m going to do it my way!”

How do you recover after you've completed something big such as, an important presentation, teaching, or giving a speech? Moving from fuzzy-headedness to energized, clear thinking can be expedited by using emotional intelligence techniques.