self compassion

Failing & Hiding

I've been writing a blog post every week since the first of the year and this week, I failed. Yup. I didn't do it. Rather than beat myself up, I forgive myself with love and compassion. I've been stretching into some new areas lately and I imperfectly juggled the balls I have in the air (like blogging!).

Land of Balancing

In my 30's, when I was in a Bachelor degree program, I wrote a 40-page paper on Balance. I loved the idea of it, dreamed of it, really believed that if I could find the land of Balance, I would be calm, productive, and forever happy.

Pop! That's the sound of the balance illusion exploding. At some point I realized that there's no such thing as balance. It's the unicorn of self-improvement. There's only the land of Balancing. That's where I'm writing to you from now.

I am balancing once again after traveling while working for eleven days recently. During that time, I drove 1,221 miles, coached clients, observed a leadership course in which I will be a facilitator soon, was a student in a course on Emotional Intelligence (EQ), and facilitated a Stress Management Seminar for a corporation. I arrived home to my husband and a wonderful couple from Spain, whom we met in Ecuador during our motorcycle travels in 2016, and had invited to stay with us during their motorcycle travels.

I loved everything I did and everyone I was with and...I tipped too far out-of-balance. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted, fuzzy-headed, and knew I needed time to recharge. Giving myself what I needed felt kind and loving, and it worked.

The key is to notice when we're too far from our balancing point and move gently back toward it with oodles of self-compassion. Like Tree Pose in yoga, balancing on one foot with constant micro-movements to continually find the center balancing point for a moment.

What do you notice in your thoughts, body, or emotions when you're out of balance?

And then, how do you move back toward the land of Balancing?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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Giving Yourself a Break

How do you know when time away is the best way forward?

Many of us believe that getting on top of our To Do List means working harder on it, and working longer at it, even though our brains are fried, even though we’re mentally and physically exhausted. I’m practicing a new way of working, with surprising results.

Here’s the sparkling jewel I’ve discovered. When I take better care of myself, my work quality and production improves. What a revelation! Working harder and longer is not the answer. Here’s what it looks like for me these days, with it's little imperfections, of course.

Every day I write in my journal, get enough sleep, take breaks during the day for lunch and snacks, and eat well. Weekly (5-6 times) I do yoga or walk, and meditate. Every two months I get a massage. And here’s something new I just played with last week. I was in a funk. I wanted to get away from everything I was working on for a while so…I did. I gave myself a break, a mini retreat if you will, for a whole afternoon.

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My time away evolved into a 45-minute drive to Yachats where for $25 I could enjoy all the amenities of the Overleaf Spa & Resort for the day — hot tubs overlooking the ocean, dry & wet saunas, and luxuriously scented lotions. After I was a clean, wet noodle, I had a hankering for a treat from one of my favorite restaurants. A dessert called Boccone Dolce called to me. The air-light meringue dissolved on my tongue, while the tang of fresh berries and the richness of whipped cream and chocolate brought an audible “Mmmmm” from my joy-filled mouth. Nestled into a booth with sun pouring through the window, I sipped a decaf cappuccino and wrote in my trusty journal. Ahhhh…

Energy level raised, anxiety level lowered, I felt centered, nourished, and excited to dive back into my work.

How will you take care of yourself & give yourself a break?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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I help individuals and small businesses clarify their vision, build stronger connections with themselves and others, reach the results they want, and find more joy and satisfaction along the way. 

 

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Befriending Yourself

Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

Imagine a situation in your personal or professional life that's vexing you. Most likely, having a friend to guide you, mentor you, or coach you would help. Right?

What if you yourself were that helping friend? What would it look like to give yourself compassion, encouragement, or inspiration? When is it time to give yourself a break and where would a loving kick in the ass be in order?

Bring to mind one situation, what's one befriending action you can take to stay on your own side?

I saw this message hanging on the wall of my massage therapist's office. This photo reminds me that it's important to be kind to myself, to fill my cup so I have plenty to offer others.

I saw this message hanging on the wall of my massage therapist's office. This photo reminds me that it's important to be kind to myself, to fill my cup so I have plenty to offer others.

In the spirit of befriending ourselves,

Jalene

 

JaleneCase.com • Newport, Oregon, USA