inner gremlins

The Moment Before We Begin

Hey there,

It’s a new year and I’m raring to go. “But wait!” my inner gremlin shouts at me, “You need to do one more thing BEFORE you do the thing you want to do!” 

Are you hearing a similar, mean, inner voice?

My gremlin smugly pointed out, “Before you can send out a blog post, you need a new “look,” a cool style to kick off the new year.” I got sucked in. And then I heard a calmer inner thought, “Wait. I have something to say. How about if I just start from where I am right now?”

So hip, new, blog post design be damned! I'm starting. 

I will be coming to you once a week with a short post to help us stay in touch with ourselves. Beginning now.

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Are you with me?

What's that I hear? Is your gremlin saying something to you? May I suggest...

Notice. Breathe. Begin.

What's the big dream or next baby step that's calling to you? What do you need to do to start right now?


If you're near the Newport, Oregon area, I'm offering a workshop in January to help you get clear about what you want to do and how you're going to do it. It's called, Your Emerging Life: Envision. Plan. Go! The link will take you to all the details.

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

Travel Learning: Lesson 10 of 10

The swimming hole.

Lesson 10 of 10: fear

From the moment we said aloud, "We're riding our motorcycles to the tip of South America," fear has never been far away.

Before we left, I was afraid of leaving my awesome job, having no income, renting out our house, and lots more. Almost every time we told someone of our plans, I could sense the fear in them. And now, it's there when we're choosing roads to ride, and places to eat, sleep, and visit. You name the decision, and I can describe a way that fear is influencing the outcome. Recently, it accompanied me to a swimming hole and I ended up writing a poem about it, which is not a normal occurrence for me.

Outside the tiny, mountain village of Santa Fe, Panama, I walked by myself from our hostel, to a swimming hole a mile or two away. I was scared during my walk. When I settled down on a rock, with my feet in the water, to write in my journal, this poem tumbled out.

Fear or Gremlin

A view from the isolated roadside. I love these Brahman cattle.

I almost turned around,

almost thought I was going the wrong way,

almost didn’t see this river, swimming hole, Panamanian countryside.

I would have missed the cool sensation of dangling my feet in the water,

wondering if I should go all the way in,

wondering if the air is warm enough, and the water not too cold.

How many times has fear won?

My first glimpse of the swimming hole.

Or, perhaps, fear has saved me.

It’s hard to know.

Hard to know when fear is warranted,

a savior, a signal, a true warning,

Riverside writing.

that danger is nearby.

But sometimes,

times like this,

fear strikes falsely.

Fear blocks me from joy,

runs so quickly through my body that I freeze,

fills me with doubt and terrifying headlines.

I can’t banish fear,

anymore than a dieter can stop eating food.

How can fear become my ally?

What’s the difference between fear and my inner gremlins?

Fear isn’t always trying to stamp me down.

Perhaps that’s it.

Fear that’s holding me down,

isn’t fear at all.

It’s an inner gremlin dressed up as well-meaning fear.

Fear calmly says, “Stop for a moment. Let’s think about this.”

Fear works in facts and intuition.

Adrenalin-filled inner gremlins shout, “Oh shit! Did you hear that?!”

And, “that,” turns out to be a leaf falling to the ground.

Facts are useless to gremlins.

It’s time to forge a new relationship with fear,

to notice when fear is speaking,

and when inner gremlins are jumping up and down with declarations,

It’s time to respect fear,

And yet sometimes, we have to feel the fear and do it anyway!

honor it,

even love it if I can.

After all, fear wants to keep me alive.

by Jalene Case

This poem was written on the banks of the Santa Maria River in Santa Fe, Panama.

 

In the spirit of learning,

Jalene

P.S. In case you're wondering, "Yes, I went all the way into the water!"

Talking to Gremlins

New to this blog? Here's the scoop:

On August 10, 2015, my husband Keith and I took off on our motorcycles for a 2-ish year journey from Oregon to the southern tip of South America. During this time, I'm dedicating my blog to the inner journey taking place as a result of our adventure.

I tattooed my bike with notes from my soul and, named her Lola, which stands for "Live Out Loud and Aware."

A bit about this video:

This video was created on November 16, 2015, day 98 on the road, in Guanajuato, Mexico.

My inner gremlin has crept out of her hiding place and prominently into my thoughts. By "inner gremlin," I mean the obsessive planner side of me. The part that desperately wants to know what I'll be doing for work when this trip is finished. Without my having a job or daily routine to camouflage or stun her into submission, her voice is loud. On a positive note, I get to have a conversation with her while I'm riding the roads of Mexico. On a negative note, it's not much fun.

Traveling is magnifying my quirks. Fun? No. Growth provoking? Yes.

If you're curious about your inner gremlin, here are some questions to ponder.

How can you distinguish the voice of your soul compared to the voice of your inner gremlin? 

How does it feel to give your inner gremlin a name or draw an image of him/her? Do you sense a change in the relationship? If so, can you feel it in your body, too?

Try talking with your gremlin. What does he/she have to say? How might you work together rather than be adversaries?

If you'd like to explore the gremlin concept more, here's a link to the book I talked about in the video: Taming Your Gremlins by Rick Carson

From Gwendolyn (my inner gremlin) to yours, "Let's work together to make magic happen in our life!"