conscious change

Future Me

I have a desire to be involved in my community, to be one of the people who are making positive contributions in our world. That desire first came to me in Chile.

Burrowed deep inside my sleeping bag, on a cold morning camping in Chile during our motorcycle travels, I quickly reached out to grab my cell phone and check the US presidential election results. After I sat bolt upright to deliver the jaw-dropping news to my husband, I thought, "It's time for me to step up and be part of the change." Now, I feel the urge to put that ah-ha moment into action.

I'm looking for a place that feels right for me to be the woman I envisioned in that memorable moment. Last night, I went to a chapter meeting of NOW (National Organization for Women) and am wondering if it's the right place for me. To help me make the choice, the question that has risen above all others, is this:

 

What does "future me" want?

 

 

Thanks for the wisdom Florian!

This phrase "future me" came from a friend we met during our motorcycle travels. Florian, from Germany, who we met in Bolivia, would say things like, "Oh, future me won't like that," or "Future me wants me to do this."

What a clever way to envision our future. It offers a way to choose that moves us beyond the temporary discomfort of being the newbie in the room and toward the person we want to become.

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene


I help individuals and small businesses clarify their vision, build stronger connections with themselves and others, reach the results they want, and find more joy and satisfaction along the way. 

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Take Your Seat At the Table

 

My theme for 2018 is:

Take my seat at the table. 

On January 20, 2018, at the ripe age of 54, I participated in my very first protest march. This Women's March took place in Newport, Oregon, the town of 10K in which I live. That's me on the far right with my friend Mary Kay.

What does it mean for you to take your seat at the table?

To me it means:

  • Unabashedly bringing my whole perfectly imperfect self to this new chapter of life I'm writing, professionally and personally.
  • Distinctly speaking up with truth, courage, and authenticity.
  • Boldly making decisions with my heart and head as allies. 
  • Knowing that because I've chosen to speak, my voice belongs at the table.
  • Bravely beginning again and again.

What will your actions look like when you believe your voice belongs, when you take your seat at the table?

In the quest of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

I help leaders build stronger people connections, improve the results they're seeking, and find more joy and fulfillment in their work. 

Executive and Personal CoachingProfessional DevelopmentPersonal Workshops

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Blog Series: Returning Home and Marriage

Hi! Here's a link to the previous posts in this series:

Returning Home and Family and Returning Home and My Peeps.

Next up...

Reconnecting with My Husband Keith

I saved the most intricate for last. What happens in a marriage when you go from traveling on motorcycles to living in one house and working? It’s a bit like riding on a pot-hole infested road, trying mightily to avoid hitting one!

A few months in, we exploded and faced what had been happening to us. You know the story of the frog in the boiling pot? That’s how it felt. Slowly, probably since our last month in South America, we had been sliding back into our old pre-travel habit of living parallel lives.

Internally, we were coping with our separate experiences of homecoming and there was a gigantic difference at the core. Keith longed to continue traveling while I was elated to be home. We had been inextricably tied to each other while we traveled. We had to agree on darn near everything we did — where we slept, where we ate, where we traveled. Once we hit US soil, that ever-present knot that connected us began to loosen. On one hand, it was awesome to have my freedom again! On the other hand, our relationship started eroding and we didn’t pay attention to it, until frustrations with coming home, and with each other, overtook us.  We both exploded.

Let’s fast-forward past the explosion, to what we learned as a result of it. From my perspective, we realized that we weren’t having those deep, interesting conversations anymore. Almost all we talked about were the items on the eternal list of to do’s. We didn’t share our fears of restarting our income flow, figuring out where we were going to live, feeling like we didn’t belong anywhere, and not in any way, shape, or form wanting to be mooches as we stayed with friends and family for (what ended up being) four months.

We separately did our best to cope with it all. I relied on girlfriends, wine, yoga, walking. He relied on going for motorcycle rides and getting out among people. I started my new business. He went back to work, in a different job, for the Oregon Department of Fish & Wildlife. I wanted our home to be beautiful and clean. He wanted his garage in order.

Here’s where we came together. We agreed that we wanted to do better. We wanted to reconnect with each other more in the way we did on the road. We had had a taste of it. We knew what it felt like to have a truly intimate connection. We’re starting with making time for real conversations, opening ourselves to new ideas of what we enjoy doing together, with touching each other more, with real kisses. It's the beginning of accepting more change in our lives.

Before we returned home, we knew our travels had changed us. What we didn't know is that we couldn't possibly understand how travel had changed us until we started living at home rather than on the road. It stands to reason that since we changed individually, our marriage would change. We're learning, we're committed, and after eight months back in the U.S., we're still exploring ourselves with love.


Conclusion for All My Relationship Reconnecting Posts

Inner Change = Outer Change

When we change, all of our relationships change. It’s inevitable if we’re being true to ourselves. Coming back from an epic adventure makes the changes more apparent than in a normal time of life.

I wonder, what would it look like to once in a while press pause and look through a different lens at the important relationships in our lives? We could ask ourselves, how have our relationships changed over time in the “frog in a boiling pot” kind of way? How are we showing up as our true selves in our relationships?

In the spirit of learning,

Jalene

P.S. If you're making some changes in your life, consider hiring me as your coach to support you! Plus, if you're curious, learn about our motorcycle adventure at SouthonaBike.com.

Not Quite in this World

This month, two years ago, Keith and I were in the final countdown to our epic adventure. We were close to leaving our jobs, prepping our house to rent, and making little checks next to items on pages of lists spread all over the kitchen counter. 

Fast forward from 2015 to 2017. Traveling changed us. We're not the same inside even if we look the same on the outside. We're committed to consciously reshaping our lives in a way that allows us to have more adventures. We're exploring this new world, doing our darnedest to align our work and home with our future vision. 

Reshaping our lives can feel like blasting off to another world. 

Sometimes I feel like a kick-as pioneer, boldly going where I've never been before and other times, I'm lost in a black hole of doubt.

Here's a video update...

If you're in Boise, and ready to change the shape of your own life, I'm offering a workshop on Reshaping Your Life

In the spirit of learning!