befriending ourselves

Twenty Percent Easier Button

My friends, family, and colleagues will back me up on this admission: "I excel at making things more complicated than necessary."  And when I do that, I eventually end up stuck in a quagmire of self doubt that leads to asking myself something like, “Where, oh where is that darn easy button when we need it?!” To help myself during those exasperating times, I've developed ways to locate (and push!) the easy button.

One of my favorite benefits of aging is that we get to know ourselves better. As a side benefit, we've crafted tools & tricks for helping ourselves so we can continue blossoming as human beings. 

Here are some ways I've been making things 20% easier lately:

  • Ask for help.
    • It's often easy for the other person to help me, and if not I'm sometimes given sage wisdom that moves me forward.
  • Talk with someone about it.
    • Hearing the words come out of my mouth, being forced to organize my thoughts for others, being asked questions, or being offered ideas all help me to see the situation from a fresh view.
  • Stop trying so hard and take a break.
    • Working longer and harder, with scarce food and restroom breaks, does not guarantee excellent results. Stepping away, stretching, eating well, meditating, walking  these are the actions of a focused, creative, productive woman!

How could you find (and push!) the easy button in a situation that's frustrating you? Try it!

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

 

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Befriending Yourself

Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

Imagine a situation in your personal or professional life that's vexing you. Most likely, having a friend to guide you, mentor you, or coach you would help. Right?

What if you yourself were that helping friend? What would it look like to give yourself compassion, encouragement, or inspiration? When is it time to give yourself a break and where would a loving kick in the ass be in order?

Bring to mind one situation, what's one befriending action you can take to stay on your own side?

I saw this message hanging on the wall of my massage therapist's office. This photo reminds me that it's important to be kind to myself, to fill my cup so I have plenty to offer others.

I saw this message hanging on the wall of my massage therapist's office. This photo reminds me that it's important to be kind to myself, to fill my cup so I have plenty to offer others.

In the spirit of befriending ourselves,

Jalene

 

JaleneCase.com • Newport, Oregon, USA

Pick Myself Up Plan

What do you do to pick yourself up when you fall short of a goal, plan, or your brilliantly imagined scenario?

It’s bound to happen. When we attempt new feats outside our comfort zone, we’re going to fail at some point. I had a couple of experiences last week when something new I tried did not turn out the way I imagined it in my mind. Of course, I did it in public. Ugh.

I rebounded pretty quickly though, without spending too much time wallowing in my blunder. However, I realized that I needed a conscious Pick Myself Up Plan.

For me, it’s a combination of younger-Jalene and older-Jalene.

As a kid, I was quite the tomboy, climbing trees, playing all the sports a girl could play, and riding dirt bikes. Physically falling down meant brushing myself off, and continuing on with the fun. Older-Jalene knows that healing the emotional pain is done with kindness and laughter, and a reminder that the learning curve always includes, “Oh boy, I’m excited,” Oh-crap this is hard,” and, “Yes, I got this!”

Next time we’re trying something new and we fall, let’s help ourselves up with a Pick Myself Up Plan. I’m going to imagine brushing myself off with kid-like zeal then give myself a wise dose of kindness and a wee chuckle.

What will you do when you miss the mark and fall flat on your sweet face?


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Hooray for you!

How do you celebrate

your accomplishments

no matter how big or small?

A few days ago, my journal was sitting out on our coffee table and my husband happened to notice the words, “Hooray for me!” that I had written with a hot pink colored marker. He said them out loud and I instantly felt silly. Then a switch flipped. I launched into an exuberant description of what it was all about.

I’ve been practicing celebrating, when I’ve done something I said I was going to do. Simple. Right?

This particular, “Hooray for me!” was related to a time when I stopped myself from spiraling down into unhelpful thoughts. It was a seemingly small thing. It wasn’t the accomplishment of a gigantic, audacious goal.

I'm celebrating more often because research shows that celebrating not only feels great; it trains our brain to repeat the behavior. That's big!

Think of a goal that’s meaningful to you.

What’s one, seemingly small, behavior

that would move you closer to it?

Now do it, and then enjoy celebrating in your style, appreciating that you are moving toward what's important to you.

Power-up your celebratory moment by embodying it. Strike a pose, a gesture, or do a full-on happy dance!

To go along with my, “Hooray for me!” moment, from the comfort of my couch, I raised my arms just like I’m doing in this photo.

In the spirit of celebration!

Jalene