Are You Hobbling or Helping Yourself?

Pre-blog note: Hi! I took a few months off from blog-posting to re-think what I’m sharing with you. Initially, I wrote short blogs weekly, then I made short videos weekly, and now, I’m experimenting with writing longer, more thoughtful posts monthly. Let me know what you think! Thank you for being here :)

And now…on with this month’s blog post…

helping or hobbling_jalene case.jpeg

Remember the three-legged race popular at family reunions and field days? Racers pair up and stand side-by-side with their arms around each other. Then the two touching legs are bound together and the hobbled racers do their best to dash straight ahead to the finish line! It doesn’t take much for them to tumble over into a giggling heap.

Are your thoughts, feelings, and actions helping you move toward what’s most meaningful to you? Or are they hobbling you, causing you to stumble and perhaps fall just short of your goals?

It’s easy to unconsciously create devices that cause us to flounder and fall. The invisible rope we unintentionally tie around our legs makes it tougher (and a lot less fun!) for us to get anywhere. Recently, I’ve started noticing how I manufacture my own pesky hobbling devices.

I thought about the way I cause my body unnecessary hardship by waiting way too long to step away from the keyboard and stretch. The muscles in my neck, shoulders, and upper back form a Union, striking as one big knot of tension in a desperate attempt to get my attention, pleading with me to stretch them back into fully functional human form.

I also noticed the way I manufacture unhelpful, fearful feelings in my mind long before I begin a project. You know that sinking sensation we can get before stepping out of our comfort zones and taking on a new challenge? We can’t believe we said yes and wonder if we’re up for it. It might sound something like this:

“You’re not a writer/leader/speaker, so why do you think you can pull this off?”

“You’re not smart/experienced/creative enough.”

I even thought back to a time when I limited myself, working too long at a job that did not fit my strengths and passions. I tangled myself up with desk-ridden, rule-laden tasks when inside, my heart’s voice whispered my desire to be connecting more with people.

Seeing our own hobbling devices is tricky because we often aren’t aware that we’re doing it to ourselves. A coach, mentor, or friend’s insight can help us uncover what’s causing our stumbles. Once we see our concealed creations, we can dismantle them.

Dismantling Your Hobbling Devices

Body Comfort

Most of us these days are laboring over a computer keyboard and struggling to do it in a way that doesn’t cause too much discomfort.

In response to my knotted-up neck and shoulders, a clever massage therapist told me, “Jalene, Jalene, stretch your scalene!” You can feel your scalene muscles right now, along the side of your neck, if you tilt your ear toward your shoulder.

Here’s a simple stretch: Stand up. With your arms resting straight by the side of your body, gently lean your ear sideways toward your right shoulder, and hold. If you want more of a stretch, bend your left arm so your wrist is behind your lower back. Go gentle and slow. Listen to your body. Switch sides.

Experiment with ways to increase the comfort level of your body.

Inner Operating System

Our inner operating system is how I think of what we say to ourselves on the inside. We’re usually not aware of it, similar to the OS in our technology devices. An inner sound track loops with words, phrases, and sentences that have the power to take us down, or build us up. Pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself. Is it helping or hobbling you?

That hurtful, critical voice can be a gremlin or saboteur. A common reaction to that voice is to do battle with it, to convince it that it’s not right. That’s wrong. Rick Carson’s book, Taming Your Gremlin, implores people to simply notice. In doing this, Carson says that it taps into an age-old change process often called The Zen Theory of Change: “I free myself not by trying to be free, but by simply noticing how I am imprisoning myself in the very moment I am imprisoning myself.”

Listen to what you’re saying to yourself on the inside, and simply notice.

Draining vs. Energizing

Since we’re often unaware of the hobbling devices we’re building, it’s tough to know where they’re hiding out. The Emotional Intelligence skill of self-awareness can help us find them.

Pay attention to when you feel unreasonably drained, exhausted, or wiped out and, conversely, when you feel energized, excited, or invigorated. Begin making two lists. One for what drains you and one for what energizes you. Don’t be surprised if some things that energized you in the past are now draining you.

You can start by making your lists now. However, I encourage you to continue adding to them over a couple of weeks to see the whole picture.

Take a look at what’s draining you. Are there any hobbling devices there? What might you think, feel, or do to help yourself? What can you let go of doing?

Now, look at what energizes you. Are there any hobbling devices there? What might you think, feel, or do to help yourself? Consider each of these fabulous items. What does it bring you? How can you do more of it?

Holding ourselves back with invisible hobbling devices serves no one—not us or the people in our lives. Break free! By simply noticing, when and where we are tying ourselves up, we can see the devices we’ve created, dismantle them, and free ourselves.


Guiding Leaders & Teams to Connect & Grow

With a sense of adventure and heart, we work together at the edge of our comfort zones, so you can accomplish what’s most meaningful to you.

We all get to lead our own lives. Some of us get to lead others.

How do you want to grow as a leader, now? Let’s begin.

EXPLORE:

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Revive to Thrive

Hey there!

Are you feeling the urge to revive your spirt so you can thrive in the coming year? I sure am.

It’s full-on wintertime, snuggle in time, reflection, celebration, and envisioning time. Remember, I’m here for you if you want a Coach to walk with you toward those big, juicy dreams in 2019. Send me an email or schedule a complimentary Curious About Coaching Session.

In appreciation of the year-end swirl of activity, I’m signing-off until the new year.

Before I leave, I want to share five inspiring images I just found while reorganizing files on my laptop. They contributed to my digital Vision Board in 2017. I still love them! I hope one or more of them speak to the desires in your heart.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene


2019 Creation Sessions

What are you doing to wrap up 2018 and hit the ground running in 2019?

I’ve been in my own deep-dive process of reviewing 2018, and designing a system for setting and tracking meaningful goals for 2019. I feel focused on what I want to create and excited to do it!

I’d love to be your partner in:

  • Reviewing your accomplishments from 2018

  • Designing a 2019 goal setting and tracking system that works for you

  • Tapping into the primal power of your values

  • Building a support system to inspire and nurture you

Reach out to me and we’ll customize a program for you.


Always Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Team Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling to authentically communicate with each other so they can get the right work done. Learn more. 

Outside Our Comfort Zone

Hey there!

I’m guessing that you’re a person who dares to step outside your comfort zone, to challenge yourself, to expand what’s possible for you — personally and professionally.

What do you do when you stumble and fall, when reality doesn’t match the brilliant vision in your mind? It’s bound to happen. It happens to all of us who say, “Yes!” to doing something new because it excites us, even though it also scares the heck out of of us. Let’s talk about how we can support ourselves when (not if!) we stumble.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene


2019 Creation Sessions

What are you doing to wrap up 2018 and hit the ground running in 2019?

Where are you heading in 2019?

I’ve been in my own deep-dive process of reviewing 2018, and designing a system for setting and tracking my most meaningful goals for 2019. I feel focused on what I want to create and excited to do it!

I’d love to be your partner to coach you in:

  • Reviewing your accomplishments from 2018

  • Designing a 2019 goal setting and tracking system that works for you

  • Tapping into the primal power of your values

  • Building a support system to inspire and nurture you

Reach out to me and we’ll customize a program for you.


Always Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Team Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling to authentically communicate with each other so they can get the right work done. Learn more. 

To Break or Not To Break

Hey there!

When you’re exhausted — not “if” but “when” — and you want to get more work done, there’s a moment when you have a chance to decide whether to give yourself a break or not.

I believe that giving ourselves a break, no matter how small, will lead to better quality work, reduce the risk of burnout, AND bring us more joy.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene


Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation. Learn more. 

Being Your Own Wise Cheerleader

Hey there!

Do you ever feel like you could use a pep talk?

Rather relying on someone else — a boss, colleague, partner, or friend — to tell you what you need to hear, try being your own wise cheerleader. Learn more about what that sounds like…

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

P.S. Are you beginning to think about 2019 goals? I sure am and will have lots to share ;)


Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation. Learn more. 

What lights you up?

Hey there!

What’s lighting you up these days? I’m not talking about the minor thrill of checking off a To Do List item. I’m talking about noticing when you say things to yourself like, “it would be a dream come true to…” I heard those words this week. The idea scares and excites me!

If you have a big dream that you really want to make progress on consider this:

Pilot Women’s Mastermind Group

Three to five women will meet 6 times from November-January via Zoom video.

You’re Invited…

To unlock your potential and take empowered action to reach your goals with the continued support of a mastermind group.

You could benefit from a mastermind group if:

  • You want to expand your vision of what’s possible and be held gently, yet firmly accountable in taking action.

  • You often feel isolated and alone in working toward your goals.

  • You have a desire to gather with other women who are ready to go all-in on making their dreams come true.

Does this sound like you? If you’re feeling an excited (yet slightly scared!) yes, I invite you to consider joining.

The group will be 3-5 women meeting 6 times from November to January via Zoom video.

Why Join a Mastermind Group?

Napoleon Hill wrote about the mastermind group principle as: “The coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony.”

At the core, a mastermind group helps all members achieve success and be better versions of themselves:

Better Humans = Better World!

I believe that desires are divine and that the dream that’s been whispering to you is yours to do. It is your positive contribution to a better world for all of us. Doing it alone is the hard way! In our mastermind group, we empower each other to transform our dreams into realities, one baby step at a time.

Send me a message and I'll send you all the details so you can sign-up by October 23. There’s only room for 5 women — don’t wait!

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene


Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation. Learn more. 

Cleaning & Choosing

How the heck are cleaning and choosing connected? Cleaning and organizing my home, office, and laptop led me to a surprising realization involving choice.

Get rid of clutter and you may just find that it was blocking the door you’ve been looking for.” – Katrina Mayer

Masterminding

What do you think of when you hear the term “mastermind group?” When I started a mastermind group more than a year ago, I thought it would be a great way to support each other in reaching our goals. Now I know that’s only a part of the story.

Gratefully Overwhelmed

How can we help ourselves when we love most of the activities and people in our lives but it’s all just too much? Lately I’ve been feeling tired, tense, overwhelmed and even though I also feel grateful for all of it, I needed a shift to a sustainable pace.